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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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⚠️ By authenticating, you acknowledge that exposure to Spoodblort may result in temporal displacement, molecular instability, or mild existential confusion. The Department of Recreational Violence assumes no responsibility for chaos-related side effects.