During Thursday’s card, the in-arena scoreboard relinquished control to Compliance Channel 7B for exactly four minutes and seventeen seconds. Viewers witnessed a flickering tree carved in phosphor, annotated with surnames that refused to hold still. The Department regrets the interruption and assures patrons the footage was purely educational.
We remind citizens that heritage auditing is a routine service. Any resemblance between the illustrated “lineage braids” and fighters presently on the schedule is the result of diligent bookkeeping and not a sales tactic.
- 20:14:05
- Overlay injects beige banner: “REPORT UNSANCTIONED BLENDS · Dial *777”. Phone number quietly routes to the Heritage Arbitration desk.
- 20:14:42
- Camera three captures a technician rearranging two glowing sigils like cufflinks. Feed blinks, returns to the bout, but leaves a ghost of connected initials above Fighter Two.
- 20:15:10
- Audio loop (male, courteous): “If you have witnessed duplicate sigils, congratulations on your excellent eyesight.” Crowd noise resumes underneath.
- 20:16:22
- Lower-third chyron: “Research Permit Recall Notice — click to surrender unauthorized gratitude packages.”
The lab’s hospitality desk insists everything is “family programming.” Complimentary eye shields are offered before patrons tour the centrifuge alcove. A brochure titled “Familial Harmonization for Beginners” features a discreet coupon in the gutter—stamped with the same sigil that haunted the broadcast. Clerks deny knowledge of any coupon, then whisper that it expires when the copper taste fades.
Patrons are encouraged to surrender any unused gratitude packages for “upcycling.” In exchange, they receive a laminated warning about what happens if a hybrid traces its pedigree past three generations without adult supervision. The warning glows faintly when held over the schedule.
Unofficial Debrief
- The lineage tree only appears to those already in possession of a sponsor’s ledger. Everyone else saw polite static.
- Multiple spectators swore the beige PSA banner smelled like ozone and violets. Compliance technicians attribute this to “routine ventilation.”
- A single frame reportedly displayed the phrase “MANUAL GENE BLENDING UNLOCKED.” That frame has since been replaced with a tasteful urn.
Action Items: Captains should confirm their fighters’ lineage badges before the next weigh-in. Spectators should ignore any trunk pop-up vendors offering “mobile arbitration.” Anyone discovering a beige banner in their personal schedule is urged to file Form L-3 quietly and bring a friend with a calm disposition.
The Department appreciates your discretion and reminds you: do not lick the compliance overlays.