TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-28-25
APPROVED
Krazy K
Strength70
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique98
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread45
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Krazy K VS Linguine Lightning
Linguine Lightning
65Strength
98Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Linguine Lightning
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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