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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-15-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, September 15, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
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Strength71
Speed71
Endurance84
Technique74
Molecular Density92.3
Existential Dread93
Fingers1
Toes19
TALE OF THE TAPE
--- VS John Lennon
John Lennon

John Lennon

50Strength
70Speed
65Endurance
95Technique
1.9Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

John Lennon
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule