TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-27-25
APPROVED
Flat Earth Fred
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread99
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Flat Earth Fred VS Mookie Sanders
Mookie Sanders
122Strength
103Speed
22Endurance
63Technique
84.6Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mookie Sanders
Violence concluded.
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