TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-21-25
APPROVED
Hornswoggle
Strength53
Speed85
Endurance67
Technique74
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Hornswoggle VS Sol Slug
Sol Slug
101Strength
20Speed
61Endurance
122Technique
17.6Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
6Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Hornswoggle
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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