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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 1, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake

Strength65
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Justin Timberlake VS Just Five More Minutes
Just Five More Minutes

Just Five More Minutes

50Strength
40Speed
90Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Justin Timberlake
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule