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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-15-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, November 15, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Suds Sullivan

Suds Sullivan

Strength90
Speed65
Endurance85
Technique82
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Suds Sullivan VS The Finger Counter
The Finger Counter

The Finger Counter

65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
2.7Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
23Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Suds Sullivan
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule