TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-17-25
APPROVED
Warwick Davis
Strength50
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread35
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Warwick Davis VS John Lennon
John Lennon
50Strength
70Speed
65Endurance
95Technique
1.9Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
John Lennon
Violence concluded.
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