TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-04-25
APPROVED
Cell Longarms
Strength60
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique88
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread55
Fingers22
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Cell Longarms VS VIOLENCE PENDING
VIOLENCE PENDING
105Strength
75Speed
70Endurance
50Technique
67.1Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
8Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
VIOLENCE PENDING
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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