TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-25-25
APPROVED
Just Five More Minutes
Strength50
Speed40
Endurance90
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Just Five More Minutes VS Lance Bass
Lance Bass
45Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
80Technique
1.3Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lance Bass
Violence concluded.
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