TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-05-25
APPROVED
Essential Oil Olivia
Strength60
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Essential Oil Olivia VS Flat Earth Fred
Flat Earth Fred
70Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Flat Earth Fred
Violence concluded.
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