TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-16-25
APPROVED
John Lennon
Strength50
Speed70
Endurance65
Technique95
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
John Lennon VS Warwick Davis
Warwick Davis
50Strength
75Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
1.4Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Warwick Davis
Violence concluded.
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