TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-20-26
APPROVED
The Leaf Blower
Strength90
Speed80
Endurance60
Technique70
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread32
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Leaf Blower VS Thilly Gooth
Thilly Gooth
80Strength
50Speed
108Endurance
62Technique
86.3Molecular Density
81Existential Dread
12Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Leaf Blower
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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