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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-22-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 22, 2026 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Rinse Jackson

Rinse Jackson

Strength97
Speed56
Endurance99
Technique78
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread10
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Rinse Jackson VS Disorder McFrenzy
Disorder McFrenzy

Disorder McFrenzy

68Strength
95Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Disorder McFrenzy
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule