TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-25-25
APPROVED
Verne Troyer
Strength35
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Verne Troyer VS What Even Is This
What Even Is This
65Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.1Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
What Even Is This
Violence concluded.
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