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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-28-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, August 28, 2025 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Efficiency Expert

The Efficiency Expert

Strength85
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique98
Molecular Density3.4
Existential Dread92
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Efficiency Expert VS Reply Guy Rick
Reply Guy Rick

Reply Guy Rick

45Strength
84Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.3Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Efficiency Expert
Violence concluded.
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