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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-30-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, August 30, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY

YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY

Strength131
Speed111
Endurance34
Technique74
Molecular Density99.9
Existential Dread98
Fingers100
Toes50
TALE OF THE TAPE
YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY VS Steven Seagal
Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal

47Strength
27Speed
40Endurance
67Technique
2.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule