TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-02-25
APPROVED
Mayhem Breakfast
Strength75
Speed88
Endurance72
Technique91
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread87
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mayhem Breakfast VS Just Five More Minutes
Just Five More Minutes
50Strength
40Speed
90Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mayhem Breakfast
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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