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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 4, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
John Lennon

John Lennon

Strength50
Speed70
Endurance65
Technique95
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
John Lennon VS Two Factor Authentication
Two Factor Authentication

Two Factor Authentication

85Strength
70Speed
90Endurance
88Technique
2.8Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Two Factor Authentication
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule