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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, September 13, 2025 at 4:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Last Two Percent

The Last Two Percent

Strength98
Speed97
Endurance99
Technique100
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers2
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Last Two Percent VS Skunkhand Jenkins
Skunkhand Jenkins

Skunkhand Jenkins

60Strength
20Speed
120Endurance
100Technique
24.3Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
8Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Last Two Percent
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule