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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, September 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble

Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble

Strength85
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble VS Returns Policy Rita
Returns Policy Rita

Returns Policy Rita

65Strength
75Speed
80Endurance
98Technique
2.2Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule