TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-28-25
APPROVED
Captcha Chaos Champion
Strength60
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread75
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Captcha Chaos Champion VS Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
100Strength
90Speed
100Endurance
100Technique
9.9Molecular Density
0Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chuck Norris
Violence concluded.
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