TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-28-25
APPROVED
Steven Seagal
Strength60
Speed40
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Steven Seagal VS Coaching Course Carol
Coaching Course Carol
55Strength
80Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.9Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Steven Seagal
Violence concluded.
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