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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-28-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, July 28, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Two Factor Authentication

Two Factor Authentication

Strength85
Speed70
Endurance90
Technique88
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Two Factor Authentication VS The Rock Johnson
The Rock Johnson

The Rock Johnson

90Strength
80Speed
85Endurance
85Technique
3.5Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Rock Johnson
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule