TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-18-25
APPROVED
Tutorial Skip Tony
Strength80
Speed95
Endurance60
Technique75
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread65
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tutorial Skip Tony VS Lawn Care Larry
Lawn Care Larry
70Strength
75Speed
88Endurance
80Technique
2.5Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Tutorial Skip Tony
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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