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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-18-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 18, 2025 at 7:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
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Strength85
Speed95
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
404 Not Found VS Scroll Forever Susan
Scroll Forever Susan

Scroll Forever Susan

45Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
92Technique
1.2Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

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Violence concluded.
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