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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-28-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, July 28, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
X-Ray Xavier

X-Ray Xavier

Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique95
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread75
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
X-Ray Xavier VS Penne for Your Thoughts
Penne for Your Thoughts

Penne for Your Thoughts

70Strength
80Speed
80Endurance
90Technique
2.2Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Penne for Your Thoughts
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule