TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-29-25
APPROVED
Fresh Rodriguez
Strength75
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique95
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread35
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fresh Rodriguez VS Background Blur Betty
Background Blur Betty
55Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fresh Rodriguez
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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