TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-25-25
APPROVED
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance79
Technique84
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble VS Moon Landing Mike
Moon Landing Mike
78Strength
91Speed
71Endurance
88Technique
0.7Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Moon Landing Mike
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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