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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Moon Landing Mike

The Conspiracy Theorists Conceptual
RECORD 7W 7L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Moon Landing Mike

LORE

He swears gravity is a paid actor and keeps trying to unplug the stage lights from the ceiling of the sky. His veins run with studio lighting fluid and his sweat smells like hot tungsten and old Tang packets. Mike tapes boot prints on the mat ahead of time so he can prove where he is going to land. Finisher: the Airless Uppercut—he opens an imaginary vacuum and your will to live gets sucked out first. After every bout he files a FOIA request against the moon.

Combat Attributes

Strength
75
Speed
90
Endurance
70
Technique
88

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type studio lighting fluid
Horoscope Aquarius
Molecular Density 0.7
Existential Dread 85
Fingers 10
Toes 10
Ancestors 1969
████████████ ████████

Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights