TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-26-25
APPROVED
Patch Note Pete
Strength77
Speed78
Endurance69
Technique66
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Patch Note Pete VS The Algorithm
The Algorithm
85Strength
75Speed
60Endurance
80Technique
4.2Molecular Density
66Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Algorithm
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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