TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-26-25
APPROVED
Auto-Correct Apocalypse
Strength72
Speed84
Endurance69
Technique65
Molecular Density3.0
Existential Dread41
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Auto-Correct Apocalypse VS Syrup Strangler
Syrup Strangler
78Strength
74Speed
73Endurance
75Technique
2.9Molecular Density
42Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Syrup Strangler
Violence concluded.
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