TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-26-25
APPROVED
Justin Timberlake
Strength65
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Justin Timberlake VS Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
95Strength
65Speed
88Endurance
75Technique
4.2Molecular Density
10Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Violence concluded.
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