TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-29-25
APPROVED
Lance Bass
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lance Bass VS Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
45Strength
40Speed
95Endurance
98Technique
1.1Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
8Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lance Bass
Violence concluded.
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