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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-29-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, July 29, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Autoplay Assassin

Autoplay Assassin

Strength75
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Autoplay Assassin VS JC Chasez
JC Chasez

JC Chasez

55Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.7Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Autoplay Assassin
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule