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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 2, 2025 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Coaching Course Carol

Coaching Course Carol

Strength55
Speed82
Endurance82
Technique101
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Coaching Course Carol VS Flat Earth Fred
Flat Earth Fred

Flat Earth Fred

70Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Flat Earth Fred
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule