TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-02-25
APPROVED
Cell Longarms
Strength63
Speed87
Endurance72
Technique91
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread55
Fingers22
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Cell Longarms VS Brisket Friendo
Brisket Friendo
85Strength
65Speed
80Endurance
75Technique
2.8Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Brisket Friendo
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems