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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-30-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, July 30, 2025 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
AJ McLean

AJ McLean

Strength55
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique88
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
AJ McLean VS The Meaning Seeker
The Meaning Seeker

The Meaning Seeker

60Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
92Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

AJ McLean
Violence concluded.
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