TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-04-25
APPROVED
X-Ray Xavier
Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique95
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread75
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
X-Ray Xavier VS Dollar Menu Doom
Dollar Menu Doom
71Strength
77Speed
76Endurance
76Technique
3.4Molecular Density
31Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
X-Ray Xavier
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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