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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, October 4, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
X-Ray Xavier

X-Ray Xavier

Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique95
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread75
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
X-Ray Xavier VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy

Polymer McGillicuddy

88Strength
75Speed
91Endurance
80Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule