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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-30-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, July 30, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Snotty Scotty

Snotty Scotty

Strength60
Speed85
Endurance55
Technique70
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Snotty Scotty VS Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr

Ringo Starr

45Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Ringo Starr
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule