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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, October 7, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Waiting Room William

Waiting Room William

Strength56
Speed49
Endurance96
Technique89
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Waiting Room William VS Hornswoggle
Hornswoggle

Hornswoggle

55Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
1.6Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Hornswoggle
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule