TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-30-25
APPROVED
Chris Kirkpatrick
Strength50
Speed75
Endurance65
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chris Kirkpatrick VS 404 Not Found
404 Not Found
85Strength
95Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
0.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
404 Not Found
Violence concluded.
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