TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-30-25
APPROVED
The Carbonara Killer
Strength80
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique92
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread50
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Carbonara Killer VS Coaching Course Carol
Coaching Course Carol
55Strength
80Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.9Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Carbonara Killer
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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