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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, October 7, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Double Cup Dwayne

Double Cup Dwayne

Strength66
Speed70
Endurance77
Technique77
Molecular Density82.7
Existential Dread43
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Double Cup Dwayne VS Nesticle
Nesticle

Nesticle

70Strength
83Speed
78Endurance
69Technique
48.5Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
7Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Nesticle
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule