TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
Tutorial Skip Tony
Strength80
Speed95
Endurance60
Technique75
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread65
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tutorial Skip Tony VS Caps Lock Carl
Caps Lock Carl
88Strength
66Speed
90Endurance
56Technique
3.2Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Caps Lock Carl
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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