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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, October 7, 2025 at 10:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Nylon Dreams

Nylon Dreams

Strength68
Speed90
Endurance73
Technique84
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nylon Dreams VS Kevlar Breakfast
Kevlar Breakfast

Kevlar Breakfast

95Strength
65Speed
95Endurance
70Technique
5.1Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Nylon Dreams
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule