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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-30-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, July 30, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Essential Oil Olivia

Essential Oil Olivia

Strength60
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Essential Oil Olivia VS Dean of Discipline
Dean of Discipline

Dean of Discipline

85Strength
65Speed
95Endurance
90Technique
3.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dean of Discipline
Violence concluded.
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