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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-30-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, July 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Anarchy Moonbeam

Anarchy Moonbeam

Strength65
Speed92
Endurance68
Technique95
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread98
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Anarchy Moonbeam VS Teflon Moonbeam
Teflon Moonbeam

Teflon Moonbeam

80Strength
85Speed
81Endurance
88Technique
3.7Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Anarchy Moonbeam
Violence concluded.
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